Sunday 5 July 2009

I defy you to read these and not feel better - MyLifeIsAverage - the antidote to sick celebrity consciousness

Truth, humour, reality & humanity comes in little packages.  Where can you get a daily supply?   Answer the 'MyLifeIsAverage' site.

Here are today's crop of little packages of truth, humour, reality and humanity.  Ordinary folks microscopic confessions.

I defy you to read them and not feel better about being you - and being in the world!


Today, I was talking to myself in my house. The mail man saw me and gave me a funny look. I then pointed to the other side of me head to make it seem like I was wearing a Bluetooth. MLIA
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Today my dentist asked me if I floss. I haven't flossed in years but I told him I do every day. He told me he could tell. MLIA
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Today, a Billy Mays commercial came on. I felt guilty changing the channel, so I watched the whole thing. I felt as if I had paid my respects to him. MLIA
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Today, while hanging out with some friends, I made a witty observation. Everyone laughed. Later that day while around different people, I told the same joke as if I had never said it before, and got a similar reaction. MLIA.
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Today, I took a quiz on facebook on whether or not Megan Fox would date me. Even though I'm a girl and I'm straight, I felt quite satisfied to find out that she might date me. MLIA
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Today I played basketball with a kid on my street I dont like that much. He complimented on how well I played. I like him more now. MLIA
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Today, I needed to walk across a one way street. I still looked both ways out of habit. MLIA
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Today I put on a pair of shorts that I haven't worn in a long time. I put my hand in my pocket and found a five dollar bill. I felt as if myself from the past wanted to give a gift to myself in the future. I was satisfied with the gift. MLIA.
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Today, I heard a knock at the door. I looked out the window and saw a Fedex truck parked outside the house. I decided to wait until the delivery man was gone to get the package so I wouldn't have to interact with him. MLIA
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Today, I was sad about Michael Jackson's death. So I looked up all his songs and downloaded them illegally, but I didn't feel bad cause he doesn't need the money anymore. MLIA.
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Today, I sneezed while I was alone. I blessed myself. Then I thanked myself. MLIA.
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Today, my parents weren't home so I decided to blast my music, since they always tell me to turn it down. After about 5 minutes, I lowered the volume because it was too loud. MLIA
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Today, When I drove under a tree, one of the branches scraped the top of my car. As a reflex, I ducked even though there was no possibility that the tree could hit me. MLIA
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Today, in the shower there was a hair on the wall. I didn't want to touch it so I got puddles of water and threw it at it in hope it would fall. It didn't. I then aimed the shower head at it. I fell. MLIA
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Today, I wanted to make bubbles, but was too lazy to blow them. I put the bubble wand in front of a fan. It worked and I was amused. MLIA.
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MLIA - MyLifeIsAverage is HERE - its the antidote to our sickening celebrity consciousness!

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